Selling Online

So, I’m going to be trying to sell some stuff online, just to test out different sales methods. I don’t expect it to be easy and I don’t expect to sell everything, but I’m gonna give it a go anyway.

What will I be selling, you ask? Or maybe you don’t ask, but I’m gonna tell anyway. Anything and everything, that’s what I’m gonna try sell. For a list of the items, see below:

Item 1: An old exercise bike.

Platform(s) used: Adverts.ie.

Asking price: €20. I have set this to be non negotiable.

Extra sales options: As of 21/11/2012, I have opted not to purchase any of the extras offered with Adverts.ie.

Status: Unsold.

Photo(s):

Description: Below is the description I added to the ad. I had a bit more in, but it seems the powers that be at Adverts.ie didn’t really like my view on An Post.

“This bike has been in my shed since a 21st party nearly 8 years ago. If it makes any difference, it was a good party! It has not been used since then. In that sense, it is untouched and could be described as very vintage. Ya may be into vintage stuff, I dunno, but you can describe it as that. I’d say it’s old school.

Mechanically, it’s flawless, except that it doesn’t work. Well, I say it doesn’t work, it might, and you might indeed be able to fix it, think of the saving you’d make?! I mean, a new one could cost you €200, this one could cost you €20? There are TEN €20 notes in €200, this costs you 1/10 of that, €20. You could buy an actual bike for the €180 you save, after you buy this, of course.

It’s also a little bit dirty, but if you really want I could give it a wipe down, that’s cool with me. In addition to that, one of the stickers on the side is hanging off and one of the leg cups is missing.

So, yeah, it’s €20. I can deliver it, within the Dublin/Meath/Kildare area.

To sum up; non working bike, lil bit dirty, €20, MASSIVE saving.

Short link: http://www.adverts.ie/2341373

Item 2: CD/DVD racks.

Platform(s) used: Adverts.ie.

Asking price: €20. I am open to haggling on this to see if it gets more interest than the first item.

Extra sales options: As of 21/11/2012, I have opted not to purchase any of the extras offered with Adverts.ie.

Status: Unsold.

Photo(s):

Description: Below is the description I placed with this ad. It’s under review now:

“So I found more stuff in the shed that I wanna get rid of.

Here we have some real vintage stuff. 2, that’s right, 2 CD racks for the price of 1. Please note that these can also be used to hold DVD’s. Well, the grey, smaller one can, I’m not so sure the tall black one could. Although, if you were really stubborn about it you could probably prove me wrong and squeeze DVD’s in there.

The tall black rack is stand alone. You could put this in the corner of your room and it would stay there. Imagine it there, with your CD’s all organised, able to choose them whenever ya want, the luxury of it all.

The smaller grey one is meant to be screwed into a wardrobe or some such. I suppose you could screw it into a cabinet if you were really mad. It’s primarily for CD’s, but it could hold DVD’s no bother, again, if you’re a mad spoon altogether.

Who’d want this? Anyone really, who wouldn’t? People always have CD’s and DVD’s lying about. Now you could have them in one central location.

These two items must go together. I really think they’ve become attached to each other, kinda like puppies do. Ya know when someone separates puppies and they whine and ya feel really sad. Yeah, you know it. Don’t do it to these two!

So, to recap. 2 racks for sale, €20 for both.”

 

Item 3: .

Platform(s) used: Adverts.ie.

Asking price: €20. I am open to haggling on this to see if it gets more interest than the first item.

Extra sales options: I have opted to pay €3 to have this ad put at the top of the search results for 1 day.

Status: Unsold.

Photo(s):

DSCF1970

Description: 

“This item would be perfect for multiple use. It could be used by paintball and air-soft enthusiasts as well as those with a keen interest in the outdoors. I suppose even a cyclist could use this. I cycle myself, I know how much of a pain a bag on your back can be as you fly through a red light and out into traffic.

There are loads of pouches and pockets that you could put your ammo in. You could also carry other bits and pieces in it, I dunno really, I’m not all that into air-soft. I like paintball, but not so much air-soft. I wouldn’t wear this to paintball though, ya’d look a bit stupid at paintball. Ya’d probably get away with it for air-soft though.

Alternatively you could use this for hiking/hill walking. Imagine all the water and snacks ya’d get into that? Ya could put them all into their own little compartments too, imagine the handiness. Go on, imagine it. Go get a nice warm cuppa, sit down, and imagine that. Although, in the time it’s taken you to do that then this will probably be gone.

I’m selling this because I don’t need it. I’ve never used it, although it has been taken out of its original packaging. By original packaging I mean the plastic bag in which it came. Ya don’t get much in the way of packaging for your €80. Yeah, €80. I bought this years ago when we all had money.

Anyway, it’s €20, preferably to someone in the Dublin/Meath/Kildare area so we can arrange delivery handy enough. If ya want me to post it then we’ll have to talk some more.

G’luck!”

The Stories

How many times have ya heard “And that’s all I’ll say about him” followed by a 15 minute in-dept life story about the subject matter? It’s a sure sign that there’s a story coming, and who knows, maybe, just maybe, a bit of gossip.

One of our key identifying factors, as Irish people, is the fact that we tell stories. We love it. We love not being on a night out and asking was there any scandal/gossip/craic? Bit weird, isn’t it? Perhaps, yes, but it seems to be one of our critical success factors with the foreign dollar. I have talked to many foreigners abroad and they are mostly charmed by the story I’m telling. No matter how much sh!te comes out, they’ll still be fascinated. It’s probably the reason why there are now some Americans who believe that there currently exists a colony of leprechauns in Wexford, because I convinced them there is.

So next time you’re telling a story abroad, remember that that is probably going to lead to someone coming to the green isle. Be prepared to explain why you exaggerated so much.

The Photos

Photos. Photos are all about capturing little moments.

This is a short blog, and is somewhat self indulgent. What follows are some photos I’ve taken. Enjoy!

While you’re looking through the pictures I hope it makes you think about capturing your moments. After all, a picture says a 1,000 words, unless someone “cleverly” puts a sarcastic comment over it, then it usually says between 8-10 words. Please don’t do that!

 

And now for some more photos! Your comments, questions and suggestions are very welcome.

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The Headlines

Why do you read a story in a paper? Is it because you’re genuinely interested in the welfare of the elderly lady who fell over in a park (who’s unfortunate choice of clothing decided to fail at the particular moment) or because you read the headline “Mature lady bares all in Public”? You know it’s because you thought you might have had the chance to see Dame Helen Mirren’s bits. No, no, unfortunately that lady is not for showing.

Headlines, like that sentence you hear on a bus, grab your attention. When you hear “and then he started walking up to the bleedin’ house with an axe” you know you’re gonna mute the MP3/4/5 (the MP5 comes with a masseuse) and listen intently. Keeping that attention is a different story altogether.

Consider the headlines you read and think about whether or not it rings true to the actual story. For this I present to you a number of headlines and have taken some real ones as well:

  • Dwarf reaches new heights.
  • Bestiality cases sore.
  • Motor Vehicles use most petrol.
  • Traffic leads to congested city.
  • Horse mounts man.
  • Anxiety leads to stress.
  • Man found dead, stripper denies knowledge.
  • Pope condemns poverty, polishes giant golden stick.
  • Study shows sex may lead to pregnancy.

Now, would you have read those stories because you were genuinely interested in the dwarf who received the promotion, or the poor man who happened to depart this world next to a stripper? No, you wouldn’t have, you would have read them because you giggled a little or saw your chance to make yourself feel better about your place in the world. That’s right, you’re weird, but it’s ok, we’re all a little weird.

By the way, if you have read this, I have probably just ruined reading papers for you, ESPECIALLY if you read tabloids.

Now, if ya didn’t like that, have a look at some other links;

http://list25.com/25-unintentionally-funny-newspaper-headlines/

http://headlinesthatsuck.com/

http://www.dumpaday.com/humor-pictures/funny-headlines-13-pics/

http://myfox8.com/2012/06/16/funny-news-headlines-photos/

http://myfox8.com/2012/06/16/funny-news-headlines-photos/

And here’s some of the pictures that would have sucked ya in:

The Customer is always right, right?

Wrong! But you do have to make them think they’re right. That usually means some sort of manipulation. Although they may be wrong, ya have to make them, with subtlety, come around to your way of thinking. If you do that well enough then their memory of the experience is as follows:

The art of generating a satisfied customer is not in showing them they were wrong, but in making them believe they were right all along. At the end they should believe that they came up with the solution themselves. This does not negate the customer service role, but rather reinforces it.

Having worked in customer service in the past I can say that the customer is right about 50% of the time. This is mostly due to the fact that they jump in and complain straight away. It’s an offshoot of the “I NEED IT NOW!!!” mentality that is currently floating about. It’s people who don’t step back and take 5 minutes to consider all the facts at hand. Customers nowadays are masters at creating their own issues and then blaming the evil company behind it.

For this, I have a few examples (all real), and I would like you to ask yourself; was the customer right?

  • A customer calls a customer service representative, threatens actual violence, representative invites him to the office.
  • A customer walks into a shop, refuses to tell the cashier what they want/got, blames the company and apparently the fact that don’t hire people with telepathic powers.
  • A customer sends an email in every half hour demanding that her issue is resolved, realises she was doing the wrong thing, blames the company.
  • A customer spends 6 weeks demanding that the terms of her purchase are met, states the company is at fault, finally sends in a receipt after being asked to for 6 weeks. This customer purchased the product from another company, blames the company.
  • A customer has a completely independent transaction issue with another company, emails in, blames the company.
  • A customer puts €160 of Petrol into a Diesel truck, himself, blames the company.
  • A customer emails in, states they can’t access the internet, they have no phone, needs a problem resolved, continues to email in, blames the company.

Now, next time ya head into a shop determined to rip the head off the nearest person with a name tag hop down off the righteous horse and think to yourself “Am I really right?”. Even if ya are right, relax, you’ll live longer.

Having considered the above, check out the links below. Remember, warnings on labels are there because somebody did the thing they’re telling you not to do. Think about that next time you’re waving a toilet brush at the power lines.

http://www.bored.com/crazywarnings/

Being Social on the Toilet

“I like using the iPhone on the can in work, it’s the only break I get!” as a friend recently said to me. Why, I wondered? Because it was the only time he got to himself in work, that’s why. It’s not a new concept, it’s the new paper, it just looks a bit dodgy bringing a paper into the toilet in work.

How many times have you been sitting in the canteen and someone comes in and starts talking about work? Before ya know it your lunch has gone cold, your tea has gotten that horrible skin on the top of it and your 5 minutes late. That’s what has led to this; being social on the toilet. This can occasionally lead to:

We’re all go nowadays. We don’t switch off. We are accessible everywhere and at anytime. It’s not nice. It’s not handy. It is certainly not healthy. It used to be that you worked to live, or lived to work, whichever. But now? Now it’s everything, all the time. It’s why I go to places with no phone signal sometimes, just so I’m forced to switch off. Turns out that not been able to check Facebook can actually horrify you for a few seconds. After all, how will I inform the world that I’m out of reach at the moment?!

Husband & Father. Green hat with a hint of Black, White, Yellow, Red & Blue.

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